American Blonde Pale Export Update

Yes, so I've decided that my very first brew needs a name. Otherwise, the namelessness of my pioneering attempt of brewmastery will forever be filed in the "I know I did it but I don't remember anything about it" directory inside my brain, the same directory every Mets game I've been to is filed, simply because I forgot to keep the ticket stubs.

Naming the beer, similar to keeping the tickets stubs, will prevent me from forgetting this once-in-a-lifetime experience. Sadly, my beer-naming creativity is non-existent. I've decided that maybe my best option might simply be to use an acronym of the mixes I used. "American Blonde Pale Export" is relatively boring, especially when beers like "Arrogant Bastard" and "Old Howling Bastard" exist in this world.

Yesterday I bottled the beer. This involved tasting the beer first, to ensure the fermented wort was ready to go. It was supposed to taste like flat beer. It tasted weird at first, but I attribute this to the lack of carbonation. After letting it sit on my tongue for a minute (that's what she said), I got pretty excited because it didn't taste like gorilla piss. This I consider my first success. I was about 80% sure that I did something wrong along the way: insufficient sanitization, inadequate ambient temperatures, excessive unnecessary movement of the fermenting wort. Any of these missteps could lead to disastrous (rotting) results.

The beer now sits in eight one-liter bottles, dutifully carbonating. They'll sit there until a week from this coming Friday, and then they'll go into the refrigerator for conditioning. By then, I'll have a name for the beer. Here are some early concepts:

  • Ape, B
  • BAPE Shit
  • A Barely Edible Potion
  • A Partially Entoxicated Bastard

Your thoughts?