The Semitic Dwarf Returns

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I joined the Tau Kappa Epsilon fraternity during the second semester of my freshman year in college. We rebuilt a dying brotherhood and single-handedly brought the brethren population from one to about 40 in a three-and-a-half year span.

During the journey, there were quite a few guys that we did not think "made the cut" for one reason or another. Maybe the guy was selfish, stubborn, ignorant or just plain hideous to look at. I remember offering a bid to one guy who the fraternity had mixed emotions about. Some of us thought he had the potential to be a good brother, while others hated his guts. Still, we vote on every potential bid, and he passed by a slim margin.

So, we offered Brian Mandelbaum a bid. Of course, I knew the entire time that he was the most manipulative, stubborn, vindictive five-foot-two-inch male I'd ever met. Not everyone is a great judge of character, however.

Nonetheless, about four or five weeks after pledging began, the brotherhood came together and voted to revoke the bid, denying Brian any chance at becoming a member of Tau Kappa Epsilon's Kappa Psi chapter. The vindictive spawn of satan then attempted to get our entire fraternity disbanned from the university by filing false claims of hazing. False, I say! False! If the hazing (that we didn't even do) bothered him that much, he should have mentioned something while still pledging - not just taking it out on us once the majority of the fraternity realized what a scumbag he was.

Anyway, I have obviously gone on a rant and removed myself from my initial point. Since that day, Brian has popped up on many random occasions. He won a Quinnipiac contest to appear on Politically Incorrect with Bill Maher at the age of 18. He appeared on Total Request Live with Carson Daly, only to be accidentally punted off stage when Carson took a step. And, most recently, he has haunted my life again. Last night I was watching The Apprentice and noticed that snide look. Ladies and Gentlemen, Brian Mandelbaum is back, and he's never going to leave us.

«added on 9/24/2005 at 10:30 AM»

Additionally, some people have claimed that Brian was kicked out of Quinnipiac University. Allegedly, he hacked into his girlfriend's roommate's computer, and, apparently Quinnipiac, like any other established business, frowns upon invasion of personal property. However, I can't find where he wrote that part in his Apprentice biography. I'm sure the Donald and Mark Burnett would have liked to have this information prior to selecting Brian to appear on the show, but maybe they should have done some better research. Again, this is a rumor, not a fact.

Watch The Apprentice this season, and see who I'm talking about. And then go check out Brian's site, and mock his self-centeredness.